Sunday, March 1, 2009

this is my life

Journal Entry, March 1st, 10:23pm
Writing Style: Rorschach
Music: Tempus Vernum
Feeling: Knackered
Favorite Quote of the Minute:
Lloyd: "I can't help it...I'm a guy!"
Friend: "Don't be a guy, Lloyd. The world's full of guys. Be a man."

Commence Rambling------


sitting here.
drinking tea.
enya playing in the background.
something so relaxing about the glow of a laptop.
don't want to go to sleep.
in my dreams,
i fall in love with imaginary people,
and then they die.
it's really terrible.
woke up crying yesterday.

tonight, was feeling anti-social.
hated everyone.
lydia called, though, and came over.
nice to see her.
made me feel better.

apologize for funny writing style.
just finished book where journal is kept like this.
can't help it.

planning on rambling for hours.
don't read.
go to sleep.
would be smarter.

went rowing.
it rained.
almost fell out of boat twice.
soaking wet.
but exhilerated.
nice feeling.

want to go to beach.
stare at stars.
clear head.
think.

have decided to stop trying to be happy.
give up happiness to achieve greater good.
can't quest for personal gain.
want to help.
want to know.
want to learn.

want to sleep.
can't.
should do schoolwork.
discipline oneself.
feeling drained.

want to stay up all night.
probably can't.
tried before.
failed.

want to live in a library.
read books.
want to meet neil gaiman.
amanda palmer.
ben folds.
good people.
probably wouldn't like them.

want to go away.
can't deal with the pressure.
going to implode.
sorry for everything.
wrecked a lot of things.

10:38pm
listening to sad song.
"he says, "adios...goodbye"
and do you know why she won't break down and cry?"
no.
don't know why.

want to fall in love.
don't want to fall in love ever ever again.

words i like:
rain
sorrow
umbrella
red
mushrooms
strawberries

going to go do something else.
besides write things will regret in the morning.
good-night

love
m

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M is for Margaret, who was swept out to sea...